Alexis M Waide

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Archive for the month “December, 2012”


Man, I’ve never been as into horoscopes as I am into astrobarry.  His stuff feels so spot on every week that I’ve taken to reading it regularly, the second it shows up in my Facebook feed.  I’ve been feeling completely underwhelming the past few months, and yes, I mean I feel underwhelming as in my personality and energy level is underwhelming, not that I feel overwhelmed.  And I’ve been okay with that, since I went through a whole series of big changes all it once, so it was totally a-okay to kind of go underground, as it were.  Lo and behold, I read astrobarry’s horoscope for Aquarius this week:

In the days leading up to Christmas, your expressed personality may comprise of little more than playing along… all while the more authentically engaged part of you remains somewhat preoccupied with behind-the-scenes machinations you feel you must complete, in order to fulfill a sort of contract you signed with yourself… Once planetary-engine Mars hits your sign on Christmas Day, however, your fuller self will rather abruptly show all the way up to the party… feeling (hopefully) refreshed and resolute after a spell spent underground, no longer content to fade unassuming into the wallpaper papers, and so fucking ready to act wild and crazy in your deserved desire to amply make up for lost playtime.

I don’t want to copy too much of it but the general gist of it resonates so strongly with me and where I’ve been mentally and emotionally the past 4-5 months.  We’ll see if Mars entering Aquarius really does kick off some refreshed appearance of my “fuller self” but either way, I’m looking forward to a vacation next week and that can only bring a renewed sense of self.


That “Christmas Feeling”

Christmas was always so magical and fun growing up, but for several years of my life, it was kind of a drag.  Working retail can do that to a person.

As many people note when Christmas things roll out right around (before or slightly after) Halloween: the Christmas season does not start in December, not when you work in retail, my friends.  Christmas starts in October, for all intents and purposes.  In the used bookstore world, that meant stockpiling nice copies of popular books and/or classics, as well as organizing all the Christmas-related DVDs and CDs so they could be ready to go on the sales floor.  This meant putting Christmas decorations up right before Thanksgiving.  Come Black Friday (or sometime around it), it meant people demanding certain items for a particular someone on their list and getting cranky (but at least not violent) when we couldn’t deliver.  It meant getting antsy at the cash register as I watched the lines grow and having Christmas music droning on and on in the background of 8 hours of my day.

And then, I left the retail world and went to graduate school.  Graduate school occupied most of my time and brain in the lead up to December last year, so much so that Christmas was a distant event that seemed months down the line.  I’d see trees with lights in the commons room of the Cathedral of Learning and it was a reminder of something, but I couldn’t quite remember what.

Then, sometime during the second week of December, once all my papers were done, I shook off the fog of finals week and found Christmas all around me.  And it was wonderful, in part because it was such a great reward for all my hard work, but also because I didn’t have the accompanying Christmas retail drudgery.  I went to the Carnegie Museums and they were decked out for Christmas.  I had snowy walks with my boyfriend.  We put up a little tree in my apartment and saw a weird and artsy Christmas show at the Warhol Museum and I went Christmas shopping and made cookies and listened to all my favorite Christmas music.  Even then I worried that it was a fluke, that maybe my heart was relishing it then but come this year I’d feel Grinchy about Christmas again.

Nope.  I’m just excited about Christmas this year, maybe even more so.  I held off on decorating and Christmas music until December started, but it was hard to rein it in ’til then, which is unlike me.  I’m generally a “beginning of December and no earlier does Christmas start type of person” but this year, I was rarin’ to go.  Here’s the tree:

DSC00730I’ll post more about my Christmas crafts, baking, and happenings as December rolls along.  Needless to say, there probably will be plenty on which to report.     

Day 29 & Day 30

Really very late on these last two days and it’s quite shameful because now I’m into December and Christmas!  Oh well, here’s my wrap up of 30 days of gratitude.

Day 29: I’m thankful for my good health.  Despite some odd things that have cropped up here and there, I haven’t really been sick in over a year.  I haven’t had a cold or other illness and have no chronic health issues.  I am extremely grateful for this, especially when this is the time of year for getting sick!  Most of my loved ones seem to have the same good health (with the exception of colds and such) and I’m grateful for this as well.

Day 30:  I’m grateful for music and a love of singing instilled in me over long years in choir and singing with friends.  This is the time of year I frequently feel like breaking into song and I can’t really imagine my life without music.

This has been a good exercise for me.  It’s not that I don’t recognize that I have a lot for which to be thankful most of the time, but sometimes I tend to overlook a lot of the little things that make my life so rich and wonderful.  This month has helped me be mindful of those things.  And obviously, observing one thing to be grateful for every day for a month inspires a lot of positivity.

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